First Day

Honestly, I couldn't care less about the drenching rain. When the outside was pouring and flooded, I just lay there, half asleep, and indulged in the soothing warmth of my cozy bed. Unfortunately, 7 o'clock came my curse. My screeching alarm woke up my senses along with my indolent little soul. I dragged myself up and out the door within the matter of minutes, but it took such enormous effort that I wished I had never agreed to start working.

After 25 minutes of practically swimming across town, my beloved Corolla at last landed me on a dry land. I arrived at the Merck campus all anxious and shivering. I had no idea whether it was my first-day nervousness or the fierce wind that got me shaking. I only knew this was my roughest start day by far.

Blessed with indoor air conditioning, the rest of my day went calmly and peacefully. My department set me up with an IBM laptop and a phone extension. The features on my computer even made my boss envious. I couldn't be happier, but I had felt a small ache in my stomach ever since I got introduced to the department. I wondered, if I could be content with such a minor detail about my computer, what could possibly have made me uneasy for a big chunk of my day.

By lunch, I realized, I was upset by the department's demographic layout. I dared to guess that women were totally out-numbered by men in my department. I couldn't help to think, was I just a little girl fighting to stay in a brutal men's world? Where were the powerful ladies? Could I possibly be in a place where time flashed 20 years back?

Jersey Girl

Umn...
I am officially a New Jersey resident now.
I mean, I have a New Jersey driver's license, and my CA one is already surrendered.
Oh, my car is also getting a New Jersey yellow license plate!

A New Start

I tried so hard to escape who I was. At the end, I am still who I am.

Isn't it time to confront myself, and more importantly ,to live my life with a positive self-image? I would like to do that without parents' pressure. Hence, I am here, in New Jersey, starting my new life with nothing much to worry about, and no one to care for.

If my leaving is a selfish act, please let it be, because what it comes down to is one thing: I need to learn how to love myself before knowing how to love others. Learning how to be comfortable with myself is my primary lesson to learn while I am in New Jersey.